How precious...today

See, we have left everything to follow you! What then will we have? -Matthew 19:27

Recently I was in a period of what I call, wilderness walking. It was a time of frustration not knowing what direction I should head or where I was even traveling. Even though I was convinced that God launched me on that journey, I longed to be back in the place from which I had come. I don't do well in the wilderness. I complain. I turn to the side. Even sin that has been dead in me for a long time again shows it's ugly face. But the Lord blesses me and moves me to the land that he was leading me anyway. He proved faithful this week by leading me home again.

I find myself on this roller coaster quite often. We are taught in books and in church that we should spend time in prayer, read the bible, tithe, go to church... In my naturally legalistic mind, I assume that when I do these things I will receive God's blessing. And conversely, when I am not doing these things God will withhold some blessing that he had intended. I answer Peter's question above for myself all the time. "What then will I have?" In times when I am doing well I expect great blessing. In times that I have fallen away I expect to have my prayers go unanswered. But that isn't the way God works.

So why did God move me through the wilderness walk I was taking into the promised land at the end of the journey right when I was at my spiritually worst moment? It didn't make sense why he would bless me when I was wallowing in my self pity. Is it because I obediently left where I was happy in the first place? It certainly wasn't because of my willing nature along the way.

The answer is because his blessing is a product of His grace, not my action. I ran across this quote in my reading this morning which explains it better than I ever could.

One of the best kept secrets among Christians today is this; Jesus paid it all. I mean all. He not only purchased your forgiveness of sins and your ticket to Heaven, He purchased every blessing and every answer to prayer you will ever receive. Every one of them - no exceptions. -Jerry Bridges: Transforming Grace

If my prayers have already been answered, and the blessings of God have already been paid for by Jesus, what am I supposed to do? It was so easy for me to accept his gift of salvation as I know I was dead in my sin. But it is another thing to understand for the first time that His grace does not stop there. He has forgiven all of my sin and given me all of his blessing.

I realize now that when I sing, "How precious did that Grace appear the hour I first believed" , it is a reminder that I haven't been appreciating the fullness of God's grace. When I consider that his full blessing is for today, this very moment, it is grace that is constantly added to my salvation. Not because I do well, not withheld if I do not. Jesus paid it all and I can not add to that. I realize that His grace is precious not only when I first believed, but this very moment.

Thank you Lord for your blessings. For the grace that you have rained upon me. Even when I turned back on the path you were leading me, you chose to guide me back in your direction. Thank you for teaching me that your grace goes much further than my salvation. It is for today, here, now. Open My Eyes Lord to see your grace in my life today. For when I see your grace in my life, I see Jesus walking beside me.